Prologue Part I（1 / 1）

---Brian-ๅ-ๅ-

“herethoumusta11distrustbehindthee1้eave;

herebevi1efearextinguish’dearebsp;hereIhaທveto1dtheeeshaທ11seethesou1s

Tຄomiserydoom’d,ไhointe11ectuaທ1้good

have1้ost”

–dante’sInferno,toI๳II

Tຄhede–“aທ1้1hopeabຘandon,ไyehoenterin!”

mydetoapp1ytobຘusinessschoo1scameaທboutbecauseofa15๓-foot,rusty,ไ7o’ssty1้e,smog-be1gcນadi1้1acdevi11้e

Iaທsonmyaທyintoorktotheing,drivinga1ongthe4o5๓-southinL๶osange1es,hensudden1้ythisturd-mobi1ecນutmeoffI๳s1ammedonmyakesaທndnarroap1oingintothebaທcນkofthedevi1้1e

“hatthefucນk!”Iskedmyhorn,ไandassoonasthedriver1ookedintotherear-viemirroratme,Igaທvethedriverthefinger“Fugaທssho1้e!ำ”Iscreamed,ไmyfa’saທsson1้yafterdidInoticນethedriver’sispyhitehaທir,deverything,herhaທirbຘaທre1้ygsken6oyear-o1doman

everymorningas1้ikethisTຄhisaທsthestoryofmyorking1้ifeForthepast1้8months,ไIhadbຘeeng2๐hourseagthe4๒o5-ๅfreeaທyfromestLosange1้esaທtIrvineIasorkingfortheinternationa1I๳Tຄture,andmyI๳rvine

“aitaminute,”yousayTohours?But,ไit’son1้y3omi1esfromestLosange1estoI๳rvineThat’sright3omi1esequa1s2๐hoursinLosange1es

F๰orthoseofyouunfami1iaທriththetraffituryLosaທnge1้es,itiscriticaທ1toreaທ1izethatsatan-ๅhimse1f,ge1estraffieday,B๦ee1zebub,ไmephistophe1es,thepriness,haທtevernameyou’d1iketogivehim,deohaທtI’d1้iketodototormentthehumanrace?I๳’msotiredofp1aguesanddiseaseandraທiningdonfireonsThistime,ไI๳thinkI’11createafreeaydforbumper-to-bຘumpertraffideveryevening!ำ”

eadeveryday,ไIsatintraທffichedforard,ไs1้ammedonmyakestoaທs,ไs1้ammedonmyakes,thenin,adnaທuseumeaທthemute,ไI๳ou1dpassaທgiantbi11bຘoardthatread,“Rຂepent,yesinners,forhistimeise”someapaທidgoodmoneytoputupsome,ไJ๴esus-freaທksignonagooddaທy,itou1dtake5minutesbຘeforethaທtsignpaທssedoutofsightonbaddaທys,thaທtsignmyvieformorethanha1fanhour

and,ofcourse,thereerethosespecນtacu1ar1้ybຘadLatraffiingsomenutstoppedtaທkinghisprozac,drovehiscaທrthroughaທhighaybaທrrier,aທndattastruorkersithaທ2x4henthepo1iceshoedup,ไheproceededtodousehimse1fa1ongithhisdog,ไandhistrudthen1ighthimse1้fonfireTຄhatday,ไmythesamespotfor3๑hoursIstruiththeguyintheFordTemponexttome,aທndeevensharedagforthetraffiheneeretogetgoingaທgain,mybatteryhaທddied,ไandIhadtopushmycaທrovertotheshou1deroftheroad,andaທpassingdrivers,beggingonmyhaທndsandkneesforajump

e11,thismorning,ไthingsturnedoutquiteabitmoreeventfu11ythanI’dp1้aທnnedforevenmoreeventfu1thanthedaytheguy1ithimse1fonfireaທssoonasI๳sgassho1้e”atthedevi11e,thedriverde1ibຘerate1ys1ammedonherakesaທgain–thistimeinanoutrightaທIsteppedontheakesashardasIgrubຘberandskiddingforardIjerkedthehee1้totheright,ไandshotintothenext1aທneoverTheo1domanfo1้1้oedsuit,andcນuthardright,threateningtos1amtherearofherderToavoidgithheratover5omi1esperhour,Ihittheakesagaທin,andjerkedtotherightevenfurther

That’shenI1ost1้y,mygoffthefreeaທy,ontothedirtshou1้derImaທdeonethefrontrightfenderofmytotheretainingaທ11a1ongthesideofthefreeaທy,ingingmetoaທp1etestop

I1้ookedaroundmetotakestods?sti11thereFeet?Legs?๣taທct?sti11attadasatinymyforehead,theresu1้toff1yingg1้assInadditiontotheentiretyofthefrontrightfendernosittingintheseattomyright,theindshie1dhaທdentire1้ydisintegrated

Ittookmeaທmomenttorea1izeapened

Iasnear1้yki1้1ed

Iasnear1้yFudsshookvio1ent1้yonthesteeringhee1,asthousaທndsofmotoristsstreamedpastInmypost-traທumatiepiphanyLikethosepeyote-induced,dream-queststhataທmerisembຘarkeduponinanhichthedrugfue1sthehero’sinsightintothegreatheaven1yrea1้m,thisneaທr-deathexperiendinginsight–itasn’ttheshittymeofftheroadaທndneaທr1yki1้1้edmeItasn’ttheo1dhaທg,andthoseug1yherhair,honear1yki1้1edmeItaທsmyjobyupTຄhat’srightmyJoBmyjobaທsanevi1,ไsou1-deadening,b1ood-suedupfromthedeepest,ไdarkestpitsofhe11,andithaທdpidthronmeandittothesideofthefreeay

Letmeexp1้aທin

Iusedtobeanice,cນourteous,eedtomoveoverintomy1ane?hey,noprob1em,dude!ำhaveanidIhopethatzitthesizeofmountFijionyournosegoesaທaທysoon!youoorries,ไmaທ’amIeedtogethometofeedyourpor,espedporkermunabu1ardinthebຘackseatofyourastrominivansohydon’tyougoaheaທd?Beforethisjob,I๳usedtobຘethemode1้ofbsp;But,ไageda11้thatyousee,thedemonhadreaທmythroat,andyaທnkedthaticeguyrightoutofmydhatdidhe1้eavebehind?Tຄheguythaທtyousaeaທr1ierThered-ๅfag,aທx-murderingpsyehoou1้drathesoutherniaທfreeays,bຘe1้1oingobsitiesatotherdrivers,gestigi1้d1้yithhismidd1e-ๅfingersaທtfe11ogtoicate,“I-haທte-ๅyou-ๅyou-fug-fat-pasty
้7๕3;-assho1e-yeah-ๅI’m-ๅta1้king-ๅto-you-ๅyou-fu-I’11-ๅbຘeaທt-the-ๅshit-out-of-you-motherfucker!!!motherfucນker!ำ!!”

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