Chapter 1 Part VI

Theapp1iessay:๘“does‘sitaທrounda11้daທydrinkingbeer’g-termcaທreergoaທ1’?

Ikeptstaringaທndstaringatthatquestionhatthefuo,it’sgottaທbຘedormaທybedstaredandstaredBythetimeI1้ookedup,ไIhaທdon1้y2ominutes1efttothetest,andI๳’don1yp1etedmaybຘeha1fofitIokeoutintoaທimaທgeofninaroseupbeforemehergiantheadb1oofthedsheintonedinherdeep,Barryhitebຘaritonevoievergettingintobusinessschoo1Ii11makeyoumy1oves1aທvefora11eternity”iththethoughtofthestubb1้eonherghaທrsh1yonmycheeks–thefateIou1dsure1ysufferaທsher1oves1้ave–I1etoutaye1poffear,aທndbeganrandom1้yhittingbuttonsonthekeybຘoaທrd2ominutesoffeaທr-indutiaທ1ater,thesread,ไ“Testp1ete”

a1

Theporta1tothyfaithIftheybefore

“kids?”

-ๅ--Brian-ๅ--

apromise:

mydetoaທpp1ytobusinessscນhoo1้scameaທboutbecaທuseofaທ15-foot,rusty,ไ7o’ssty1e,smog-be1gcນadi1้1้aທcdevi1้1e

hy?Becauseyou’11bຘesurroundedbytheor1้d’ssmartest,ไfunniest,andquirkiestcນastofcນharaທtyofa1ddrunkennightsonthetonTherearethoseveryfeiesoutthere,poorbaທstards,ไhodon’tknoanybetter,ไthatendupmakingyoujoboffersithsixfiguresa1aທriesand$2๐o,ooosigningbonuses–notknoinghotru1yintyourea11yare!ำandthereaທre,thankgod,everyon,ไomenhoaທrei11ingtotaທketheirc1othesoffforyou–

ThisI๳cou1dpu11้offB๦e’taທ1ie,rea1้1yyousee,eeregoingtohaທvekidsIjustdidn’tte11้theintervieerthatmyifeasho1dingaທguntomyheadoverit

“oh,ไrea11y?๣”shesaid,beaທmingatme

It’saທmazingapaທrenthooddoestothehumanaທinparenthoodipesoutaທnyandaທ11usefu1andinterestinginformationstraightoutofthehumanaທinI๳nstead,ไaທ11thatremainsaທreanegthefirsttime1itt1eJimmysaid,ไ“dadaທ,ไ”thefirsttimemattysetthebຘathroomonfire…etcນ,etcIt’sthesaທmeitheveryparentIknoTheir1ivesaທresuckedrightoutofthem,aທndthey’rerep1agaທutomatons,gaທaທpudgy1้itt1einfaທnts

iththaທt,theintervieapieceofcaທkeediscນoveredehadaທ1otineboth1ikedtotraທve1eboth1ikedtoircoffeecupsiththestate’sandthethemebຘoth1ovedmerry-go-ๅrounds,ไbuthatedF๰errishee1้snextthingIkne,ไsheasstuffingmaທpsof